Fame Quests

Fame Quests

Today presents too many quests for fame. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, MySpace, Snapchat, Linkedin, YouTube, Pinterest, Tumblr—the many corners of the sprawling social “bragosphere” have everyday, average, ordinary people hungry for fame.

We grow up being told to watch the TV. Then, the TV tells us to try to be famous like the people trying to be famous on shows like “Star Search” or “Britain’s Got Talent”. But, fame doesn’t always seem to turn out so well. Just ask any of the actors who played Anakin Skywalker.

Don’t seek fame; seek to build your character first. When worthy, you’ll shine.  · · · →

Which Expert?

Which Expert?

Everyone can become an expert in some field. An awesome counselor becomes a renowned authority because of people well-counseled. A pro-golfer becomes a moral role model for young people. A basketball star becomes a hair style trend-setter and informal international negotiator with North Korea. A Rubik’s cube tutor becomes a famed blogger that network news wants to interview about social-political matters.

But, is it wise to hire life coaches or psychotherapists to help set and achieve our life goals, rather than product managers who know profitable scalability? I wouldn’t ask my neurosurgeon to clean my kitchen; better a house cleaner.  · · · →

‘Jackal Barking’ Defined

‘Jackal Barking’ Defined

Marshall Rosenberg called it “jackal language”; Satir called it “blamer mode”. Whatever flavor you like to call it—using negative descriptions, declaring one-word final opinions about the person arguing with you, and saying things like “you always/never…” isn’t smart if your goal is peace.

But in that, there’s another pattern we often miss: “verbal cannonballs” or “barking”. When we’re unhappy, we tend to add words like “anyway” or start sentences with “well”. We don’t normally do this, only when feeling “barky”. When words add no more meaning than a bark, they should be classified as “barking”, more specifically, “jackal barking”.  · · · →

Wisdom Seeds

Wisdom Seeds

Not everybody grows up when they grow up. None of us mature the moment we get wise counsel. But, the wise among us can plant “wisdom seeds” of a happy life.

Don’t hate or fret over the idiots in your life. In some sense, you’ve been that idiot before and you probably will be again. Rather, take your frustration with other people’s immaturity to a constructive venue: keep planting wisdom seeds and keep dripping water on those seeds.

Adults are brats because the adults in their lives didn’t drip wisdom. You be their adult and they just might grow up.  · · · →